How to get your toddler to brush their teeth

At a glance

• Toothbrushing goes more smoothly as a routine: same place, same moment, morning and night.
• A song, counting or a little game turns a battle into something to look forward to.
• "Your turn, then my turn": your child brushes first and you finish.
• Small choices, like the brush colour or the song, give your child some control.
• Follow your dentist's advice on toothpaste type and amount, and never threaten with the dentist.

Why does my toddler refuse to brush?

When a toddler won't brush their teeth, it's usually not stubbornness but control, sensations or tiredness. For a small child, someone putting a brush in their mouth, with no way to stop it, is pretty unpleasant.

A few common reasons:

• They want to decide. Toddlers are discovering they can say "no", and the bathroom is a perfect place to practise.
• It feels strange. The brush tickles, toothpaste can taste too strong, and some children gag easily when the brush goes too far back.
• They're tired. In the evening, after a long day, any extra step feels like too much.
• It's become a battle. If every night starts with tension, your child already expects it.

Once you understand the reason, it's easier to change the approach rather than just push harder. Watch for a week: do they refuse mostly at night? Only when there's toothpaste on the brush? Only with one particular adult? The answer shows you where to start.

How do I make brushing fun?

Toothbrushing becomes fun for a child when it has play, rhythm and a little story in it. Nothing complicated is needed.

Sing. A short song, always the same one, shows your child how long is left. When the song ends, brushing ends.

Count. "Ten on the top teeth, ten on the bottom." Children like knowing there's an end.

The crumb hunt. "Let's see what's left from dinner. A bit of apple? Got it!" Brushing becomes a mission.

Brush together. Stand side by side in front of the mirror and copy each other. Children learn far better by watching you than by listening to you.

Teddy goes first. Let your child "brush" a toy's teeth with an old brush, then it's their turn.

Should I let my child brush alone?

Your child can brush on their own as part of the routine, but at a young age they need an adult to finish the job. Small hands don't reach everywhere yet, however hard they try.

"Your turn, then my turn" works well: your child brushes as long as they like, then you "check" and finish. They keep the feeling of doing it themselves, and their teeth still get properly cleaned.

As they grow, your child can take over more and more, with your check at the end. Ask your dentist until what age you should help, since they can see your child's teeth and know what they need.

What if my child gags or hates the toothpaste?

If your child gags while brushing or can't stand the toothpaste, a smaller brush, gentler movements and a toothpaste made for children usually help. It isn't fussiness; it's a real sensation.

• Choose a small, soft brush suited to their age.
• Start with the front teeth and work towards the back gradually, with short strokes.
• Let them hold the brush on the back teeth so they control how far it goes.
• If the taste bothers them, ask your dentist which alternative suits them. Your dentist will also tell you how much toothpaste to use at their age.

Don't force it or hold their head. An unpleasant sensation repeated every night only makes brushing harder next time.

How do I build a lasting habit?

A lasting toothbrushing habit is built from calm repetition, in the same place and at the same time of day.

Link it to other steps. In the morning after breakfast, in the evening after pyjamas and before the story. When it's part of a familiar chain, your child stops negotiating every step.

Don't skip the evening. Even on tired nights, a quick brush is better than none and keeps the habit alive.

Offer real choices. The green brush or the blue one? The bear song or the car song? Your child chooses, but brushing happens either way.

Praise cooperation. "You opened really wide, that helped me so much!"

Keep mornings simple. Mornings are often rushed. Keep the brush and toothpaste within reach, at your child's height, and use the same short song. When the steps are always the same, there's no need for explanations.

Stay calm on hard nights. There will be nights they refuse anyway. Say calmly "Teeth get brushed, you choose how", offer two options and move through brushing quickly, without long discussions.

A chart for two weeks. A sticker for each brush, morning and night, can help at the start. Then let it fade once the habit is in place.

Step by step

1. Choose a fixed place and time, morning and night.
2. Let your child pick the brush or the song.
3. Brush your teeth together in front of the mirror.
4. Your child brushes first, as long as they like.
5. You finish, with gentle strokes, for as long as the song lasts.
6. Use toothpaste the way your dentist recommended.
7. Praise cooperation, not just the result.
8. If you like, use a sticker chart for two weeks.

By age

• Ages 1–3: you brush and your child "helps": holding the brush, choosing the song, brushing teddy's teeth.
• Ages 4–5: your child starts on their own, and you finish and check.
• Ages 6–8: more independence, with your check, as your dentist advises.

Words that help and words to skip

Try:

• "Your turn, then my turn."
• "Let's hunt for the dinner crumbs!"
• "Green brush or blue brush?"
• "You kept your mouth open, that really helped!"

Skip:

• "If you don't brush, your teeth will fall out."
• "I'll take you to the dentist and it'll hurt."
• "Stop crying, you have to."
• "Never mind, we'll skip it tonight, it's too late."

Common mistakes

• Fighting the same battle every night instead of changing the approach.
• Scaring your child with the dentist or with teeth falling out.
• Skipping the evening brush when everyone is tired.
• Holding your child down, which makes the next night even harder.

When to talk to a doctor or psychologist

Talk to your dentist if brushing is a battle every day, if your child's gums bleed, or if you notice spots on their teeth. The dentist can show you easier ways to brush and what suits your child.