Should we video call every day?

Short and regular is best. If video calls upset your child, try voice messages or a song at the same time each day.

My child ignores the parent when they return. Is that normal?

Yes, it's a common reaction and usually passes within a day or two. Let them come close at their own pace, without hurrying them.

Should I tell my child beforehand or leave while they're asleep?

Tell them beforehand and say goodbye. Slipping away may avoid tears once, but it can make a child fear that the people they love might vanish at any time.

Is it a good idea to promise a present when the parent returns?

A small surprise does no harm, but don't tie it to behaviour. Your child doesn't need to "earn" the parent's return.

How to help your child when a parent goes away for a while

By Big Day Stories team · Updated 15 October 2026 · 6 min read

Pre-approved article. It will be reviewed and signed by a child-development specialist; until then, it is general guidance, not medical advice.

The short answer

Tell your child clearly that the parent is going away and when they'll be back, counting in "sleeps," not days. Leave a special object from the travelling parent, keep the same routines, and have short, regular calls or video chats. Never leave without saying goodbye.

At a glance

Tell your child clearly that the parent is going away and when they'll be back, counting in "sleeps," not days.
Never slip away: a short, warm goodbye is better than a disappearance with no explanation.
Leave a special object from the travelling parent: a T-shirt, a photo, a recorded story.
Keep the same routines at home and have short, regular phone or video calls.
Moodiness, clinginess or unsettled sleep are common ways for a child to say "I miss you."

How do I explain a parent's trip to a young child?

When you explain a parent's trip to a young child, say simply where they're going, why, and above all when they'll be back.

"Daddy is going away for work. He'll sleep three sleeps in another city and then he'll come home." Young children understand "three sleeps" far better than "Thursday" or "next week." A countdown calendar, where you cross off one sleep every morning, makes the wait visible.

Avoid vague answers like "soon." For a child, "soon" can mean any moment, and every day without the parent becomes a disappointment.

Tell them in advance, but not weeks ahead for a very young child. A few days are usually enough to prepare without too much worrying.

And always say goodbye. Leaving while they sleep or play, to avoid tears, can make a child fear that the people they love might vanish at any time. A short, warm goodbye with a clear promise reassures them more.

How can my child keep in touch with the parent who is away?

To help your child keep in touch with the parent who is away, short regular calls work better than long, rare ones.

Pick a fixed time, for example before bed, and stick to it. A call of a few minutes at the same time every day gives your child something reliable to look forward to. For toddlers, a voice message or a song can be easier than video, which sometimes confuses or upsets them.

Objects help too: a T-shirt that smells of the parent who's away, a photo by the bed, a bedtime story recorded in advance that they can listen to any time. The travelling parent can also hide a few little notes, one for each morning.

Older children can do something together with the parent from a distance: a drawing one starts and the other finishes, a diary of what happened each day, or a map to follow where the parent is.

Why is my child acting up while their parent is away?

When your child acts up while a parent is away, it is usually not "naughtiness" but their way of showing that they miss them.

Clinginess, sudden anger, crying at bedtime or waking in the night are common reactions. Some children even get cross with the parent who stayed at home, because with them they feel safe enough to show their feelings.

It helps to name the feeling: "I think you're missing Daddy. I miss him too." Keep routines exactly as before: meals, bath, story. Predictability at home gives security when someone is missing.

Don't promise presents for good behaviour. Your child doesn't need to "earn" the parent's return, and missing someone isn't something to reward or punish.

How do we make the homecoming easier?

To make a parent's homecoming easier, plan the reunion without high expectations.

Some children leap into their parent's arms in the first second. Others are cool, ignore the returning parent, or are upset for a while. This is normal: your child needs a little time to reconnect. Let them come close at their own pace, without "Aren't you going to give Daddy a kiss?"

A quiet first day helps, with no visitors and no busy plans. Simple play with the parent who's back, a walk, a bedtime story read by them that evening rebuild the bond better than a big present.

Talk about the time apart too: "What did you miss most?", "What did you save to show me?"

What about longer absences, such as working abroad?

When a parent works abroad for months, it affects a child more deeply than a work trip of a few days, and it deserves more support.

Many families in Romania live with this. The ideas in this article still help: the goodbye, the objects, regular contact, routines. But a long absence often means that counting sleeps no longer makes sense, and a child may need more than that.

Let the nursery or school teacher know what's happening at home, so they can understand any changes in behaviour. The school counsellor or a child psychologist can help you find what suits your child.

This article is written mainly for absences of a few days to a few weeks.

Step by step

Tell your child in advance that the parent is going away, where to, and when they'll be back.
Count the time in "sleeps" and make a countdown calendar.
Choose a special object from the parent who is leaving, together.
Record a bedtime story or a message your child can listen to any time.
Agree on a fixed time for a short call or a voice message.
On the day, say a short, warm goodbye, never slip away.
At home, keep the same mealtime, playtime and bedtime routines.
Name the missing when it shows and meet it with patience.
Cross off one sleep on the calendar every morning.
When the parent comes back, give your child time to reconnect, without rushing.

By age

1–3 years: objects, voice and routines matter most. A parent's T-shirt, a photo and a voice message at the same time each day say more than any explanation.
4–5 years: counting down in sleeps and a story about going away and coming back both help. Your child can prepare a drawing to give the parent on their return.
6–8 years: a map showing where the parent is and a shared project, such as a drawing or a diary, help them feel connected. Listen to their questions about why the parent had to go.

Words that help and words to skip

Try: "Daddy is going for three sleeps and then he's coming home."
Try: "It's normal to miss him. I miss him too."
Try: "Every evening before bed we'll talk to Mummy on the phone."
Try: "She's going away for work, she isn't going away from you."
Skip: "He'll be back soon."
Skip: "If you're good, she'll bring you a present."
Skip: "Stop crying, you'll upset Daddy."
Skip: saying nothing until the morning they leave.

Common mistakes

Vague answers about the return, such as "soon" or "in a while."
Promising presents in exchange for good behaviour.
Long, tearful goodbyes that weigh even more on the child.
Hiding the trip until the last moment, or slipping away unnoticed.

When to talk to a doctor or psychologist

If the absence is long, or your family is going through a separation, illness or loss, talk to a child psychologist; in those situations a storybook is not enough.

Questions parents ask

Should we video call every day?: Short and regular is best. If video calls upset your child, try voice messages or a song at the same time each day.
My child ignores the parent when they return. Is that normal?: Yes, it's a common reaction and usually passes within a day or two. Let them come close at their own pace, without hurrying them.
Should I tell my child beforehand or leave while they're asleep?: Tell them beforehand and say goodbye. Slipping away may avoid tears once, but it can make a child fear that the people they love might vanish at any time.
Is it a good idea to promise a present when the parent returns?: A small surprise does no harm, but don't tie it to behaviour. Your child doesn't need to "earn" the parent's return.