How to prepare your child for the first day of school

At a glance

• Shift bedtime and wake-up time to the school schedule one or two weeks ahead.
• Walk the route to school together and, if you can, visit the playground and the building.
• Let your child choose the pencil case and pack the school bag themselves.
• Tell them everyone is new on the first day and they can always ask the teacher.
• Listen to their feelings before you reassure, and keep the first weeks light.

How do I know my child is ready for school?

Whether a child is ready for school depends less on reading or counting and more on how well they manage the small, everyday things on their own.

For the first year, ask yourself mainly: can they go to the toilet alone? Can they put on their coat and shoes? Can they sit at a table for a little while and listen to a story? Can they say when they're hungry, thirsty or not feeling well?

The social side matters too: playing alongside other children, waiting for a turn, accepting a rule from an adult. They don't need to do all of this perfectly. School is exactly where they learn what they don't know yet.

If you have real doubts, talk to their nursery or kindergarten teacher. They have seen your child day after day in a group and can tell you what is going well and where a little support would help.

How do I prepare my child in the weeks before?

In the weeks before the first day of school, what helps most is turning the unknown into something familiar, one step at a time.

Shift the sleep routine early. One or two weeks ahead, gradually move bedtime and wake-up time to the school schedule. A rested child copes with big feelings far more easily.

Rehearse the route. Walk or drive the way to school at the time you'll usually leave. Look at the playground, the gate, the spot where you'll meet after school. If the school allows it, find the toilets too.

Involve your child. Choosing the pencil case, the bag or a water bottle gives them the sense that this is "their" school. Let them pack the bag on their own at least once, as practice.

Practise asking for help. Play schools: you're the teacher, they put up a hand and say "Can I go to the toilet?" or "I didn't understand, could you explain it again?" Tell them that asking for help is brave, not embarrassing.

No other big changes at the same time. If you can, avoid moving house, changing rooms or starting other new activities in the same weeks.

What should the morning of the first day look like?

The morning of the first day of school goes best when it is calm, predictable and unhurried.

Lay out clothes and pack the bag the evening before. Get up a little earlier than you need to, so there's time for a relaxed breakfast and a hug without one eye on the clock.

Let them bring one small thing they have chosen: a favourite rubber, a keyring on the bag, a pebble in a pocket. Something familiar can be comforting when everything else is new.

At the gate, follow the school's welcome plan. Keep the goodbye short and warm, tell them clearly who is collecting them and when ("I'll pick you up after lunch"), and then go. Long goodbyes usually make feelings bigger, not smaller.

How do I talk about school worries?

When you talk with your child about school worries, listen first and reassure second.

If they say "I'm scared," don't rush in with "There's nothing to be scared of." Try "It's normal to feel nervous when something new starts. I did too." Feeling understood calms a child more than any explanation.

Then you can ask, "What exactly are you worried about?" The answer is often surprisingly concrete: where the toilet is, who will open their bottle, what happens if they get something wrong. A concrete worry has a concrete answer, and you can find it together.

Talk about the good parts as well: new classmates, break time, the things they'll learn. You don't need to promise it will be "amazing", just show them that school has good bits too.

After the first few days, ask specific questions. "What was the funniest thing today?" or "Who did you play with at break?" get you much further than "How was school?", which almost every child answers with "Fine."

What if my child doesn't want to go?

If your child doesn't want to go to school in the first days, it is usually a normal reaction to a big change, not a sign that something is wrong.

Stay calm and kind but firm: "I know it's hard. We're going to school, and I'll pick you up at the time we agreed." Keeping them home to avoid the feelings can make the next morning even harder.

Talk to the teacher. They may give your child a small morning job or seat them next to a friendly classmate. Teachers have seen many first weeks and usually have good ideas.

Keep afternoons light in the first weeks: time outdoors, enough sleep, few extra activities. Be on time at pick-up, because a child who waits last in the playground may start worrying about the next day.

Step by step

1. Two weeks ahead, start moving bedtime and wake-up time.
2. Walk the route to school a few times, at the real leaving time.
3. Visit the school grounds and, if possible, the classroom and toilets.
4. Choose the pencil case and bag together; let your child pack it.
5. Play schools and practise asking the teacher for help.
6. Talk about feelings and listen before you reassure.
7. The evening before, lay out clothes, pack the bag and pick the small item they'll take.
8. On the first morning, leave without rushing and keep the goodbye short and warm.
9. Be on time at pick-up and ask something specific about the day.
10. For the first few weeks, keep afternoons quiet and avoid other big changes.

By age

• 1–3 years: at this age it's nursery or kindergarten rather than school; routines, familiar objects and short goodbyes help most. When an older sibling starts school, bring the little one along on the route so they understand where their brother or sister goes.
• 4–5 years: the year before school is a good time to practise independence: the toilet, getting dressed, tidying up. Talk about school as a place where big children go and learn new things, without pressure.
• 6–8 years: in the first year, routine, the toilet, the coat and friendships matter most. In the next years, new rules and the fear of getting things wrong come up; tell them that mistakes are part of learning.

Words that help and words to skip

• Try: "Everyone is new on the first day."

• Try: "It's normal to feel nervous. We all do when something new starts."

• Try: "If you need something, you can ask the teacher. Asking is brave."

• Try: "I'll pick you up after lunch."

• Skip: "Right, the fun is over now."

• Skip: "You'd better behave, or else…"

• Skip: "Your brother didn't cry at all on his first day."

• Skip: "There's nothing to be scared of."

Common mistakes

• Presenting school as the end of fun, or as a place where "you'll see."
• Comparing your child with a sibling, cousin or classmate who "coped better."
• Filling the first weeks with after-school activities when your child needs rest.
• Slipping away to avoid tears, which makes the next morning more anxious.

When to talk to a doctor or psychologist

Some nerves in the first weeks are common. If the worries last for several weeks, affect sleep or eating, or bring tummy aches every morning, talk to the teacher and to your child's doctor or a child psychologist.