How to help your child cope with moving house

At a glance

• Tell your child about the move in good time: a few days ahead for toddlers, a few weeks for older children.
• The important things stay the same: the same bed, the same toys, the same bedtime routine.
• Let them pack a special box that you open first in the new home.
• Say goodbye to the old home together, then explore the new places together.
• A few weeks of unsettled sleep and extra clinginess are normal.

When should I tell my child we are moving?

The right time to tell your child you're moving depends on their age: the younger they are, the shorter the gap between the news and the move can be.

A two- or three-year-old can't hold on to something weeks away. For them, a few days' notice is enough, especially once boxes start appearing around the house. Children of four and up can be told a few weeks ahead, with a calendar where you cross off the days until moving day.

What matters most is that they don't find out at the last minute or by accident. Children feel the bustle at home. A simple, honest explanation calms them more than silence does.

How do I explain moving to a toddler?

When you explain moving to a toddler, say clearly what is changing and, above all, what is staying the same.

"We're going to live in a new house. Your bed is coming with us, your toys are coming with us, and we're all still together. Only the house is different." For a young child, the fear isn't about the new house; it's about losing their things and their people.

Show them photos of the new home and their room, if you have them. If you can, visit beforehand. You can draw the new room together and decide where the bed will go.

Children cope with a new place far better when the important things stay the same: the same family, the same favourite things, the same bedtime story.

How can my child say goodbye to the old home?

To help your child say goodbye to the old home, a small ritual done together and without rushing goes a long way.

Walk through the rooms and say "Goodbye, kitchen!", "Goodbye, my room!" Take photos of the favourite spots: the play corner, the window with the tree outside, the stairs. Later, those photos can become a little book about "the house when I was little."

Visit the places around you too: the park, the shop, the neighbours. If they're leaving friends behind, help them make a drawing for them, or plan a video call after the move.

Leave room for sadness as well. "You'll miss your room. I will too." Your child is allowed to feel sad, even if you're happy about the new home.

How do I set up the new room?

When you set up your child's new room, make it the first room in the house that's ready.

Keep their special box of favourite toys with you in the car, or label it clearly so it doesn't get lost among the others. Open it first. On the first night, their bed, their pillow and their sleep toy should be in place, even if the rest of the house is still full of boxes.

If you can, keep their old furniture at first. A room that looks familiar helps them fall asleep in a house that doesn't yet.

Let them decide a few things: where the bed goes, which shelf the books go on, maybe even the colour of one wall. Small choices give them the feeling that the new place is theirs too.

How do I help my child settle in?

To help your child settle into a new home, keep the old routines and discover the new places together, a little at a time.

The routine stays the same. The same bedtime, the same bath, the same story. The evening routine is their anchor in a new place.

Explore together. The new park, the new way to kindergarten, the bakery on the corner. Give them names and make them "our places."

Don't stack changes. If possible, don't change kindergarten or school in the same week as the move. Each change needs its own time.

Expect some harder days. Unsettled sleep, waking at night, wanting to be held more, or small outbursts of anger are common in the first weeks. Respond with patience. They usually fade as the new house becomes home.

Step by step

1. Tell your child about the move at the right time for their age.
2. Show them photos of the new home or visit it together.
3. Make a calendar and cross off the days until the move.
4. Let them pack a special box of favourite things.
5. Don't pack all their toys weeks in advance; leave enough for the days that remain.
6. Say goodbye to the old home, its rooms and the places around it.
7. In the new home, set up their room first and open the special box.
8. Keep exactly the same bedtime routine from the very first night.
9. Explore the new neighbourhood together in the first days.
10. Stay in touch with old friends through a drawing or a video call.

By age

• 1–3 years: routines and familiar objects matter most. Have the bed, blanket and sleep toy ready from the first night; explanations can be very short.
• 4–5 years: the countdown, the special box and a story about moving all help. Your child can pack a few small things and be "in charge" of their own box.
• 6–8 years: involve them in decisions, such as arranging their room or choosing something new for it. Accept their sadness about friends and the old school, and help them keep in touch.

Words that help and words to skip

• Try: "The house is new, but we're all still together."

• Try: "Your bed and your toys are coming with us."

• Try: "It's all right to miss the old house."

• Try: "Let's find out together what's new around here."

• Skip: "You'll forget about it soon."

• Skip: "There's no reason to be sad, the new house is bigger."

• Skip: "We're moving tomorrow," said for the first time the day before to an older child.

• Skip: "There's no room for all your toys any more."

Common mistakes

• Packing your child's things first and leaving them without toys for weeks.
• Telling them they'll "soon forget" the old home or old friends.
• Announcing the move at the last minute to a child old enough to understand earlier.
• Changing kindergarten, bedroom and bedtime routine all at once.

When to talk to a doctor or psychologist

Clinginess and sleep changes for a few weeks after a move are common. If they last longer or are severe, talk to your child's doctor; if the move comes with a separation or another loss, a child psychologist can help.